Freak Me Out (And Not In A Weezer Kind Of Way)

Dear Chester Cheetah,
I think your cheeto stick looks like a bloody hard stool.


That is all.

It's A Blue Bright Blue Saturday

Last night really skeeved me out. As I was heading home from Parc I found me a stalker. I got off the subway and headed back to my apartment when this suspect of a man shouted something from his unmarked white molester van. Since I was drunk and I just figured he was asking for directions, so I looked over and gave him a stink eye and kept on walking. Normally in this sort of situation the driver would go on his merry way. So as I thought he would drive off, he instead reversed his car down the street, parked it, jumped out and ran to catch up with me.

He kept on calling me cutie & asked me how old I was. When i refused to answer he guessed my age at 19. Granted he wasn't super fucking ugly, it was just extremely unnerving and disgusting to be approached in such a manner. This buster even followed me to the front door of my apartment.

So moral of the story is Philadelphia I Love, But You're Freaking Me Out. And on a side note: an Absolut and Tonic cost me $10 at Parc, thanks Stephen Starr for being jacked up buster too.

Salty

I hope I'm not the only one who thinks that Philadelphia tap water smells and tastes like bong water.