Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Death. Show all posts

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Hey Hey Hey! Alizé

Unlike Peg and her humane outlook on mice, I have my own opinion of this furry disease ridden hair ball.

So last night while eating my sausage pizza from Rustica last night I saw something scurrying around from the corner of my eye. After first I thought it was a giant cockroach (fig. A) but upon further inspection,using my way awesome detective skills, reasoning and art of scientific deduction, I came to the conclusion that it was in fact a brown house mouse (fig. B).


(fig. A)


(fig. B)

I seriously almost shat my pants thinking about this brown piece of turd running around my apartment, living on my dime, eating my food and using my floor as it's own person toilet. DISGUSTING. So I emailed Tower Investments who owns the building to get an exterminator to come over A.S.A.P. I hope they remedy this problem before shit gets out of hand.

I also spent a good portion of last night searching on the internet for ways to get rid of it myself. Most of them involved killing it but I'm lazy and don't want to bother with building the contraptions they recommended online.

Sometimes having an obese kitty doesn't look so bad after all.

Oh Hai!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Heaven In Black Leather Jacket


I think God has a funny way of telling me things through various inappropriate phenomenal actions. Through God's sick, twisted humor I believe s/he wants me to live in a big heap of shit.

I had made it a point to do some household chores that involves the use of electricity but due to this thunderstorm I can't without the fear of being electrocuted and dying a horrible death. So instead of cleaning up I am on the internets writing about my disgust with the whole situation.

I would like to point out that while I was walking back from 1 Shot Coffee House with an iced-coffee in hand I couldn't help but think that I could have been struck dead by lightning bolts. One of my biggest fear is dying from a lighting bolt. This may be a scientific fallacy but I think iced-coffees are natural conductors of electricity. I have no time dealing with logic and scientific hypothesis when I am running for my life. True or not, I hate carrying anything wet during a thunderstorm.

Maybe I should just call it a day and just eat a cheeseburger.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Time To Send Someone Away

I can't believe that my mom just asked me if I wanted to see Barry Manilow in Vegas.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Great Unwanted

Paris Hilton will be at Franklin Mills Mall tomorrow promoting her new movie.

I feel sick...I need a cheesburger