Gotta Keep On Moving

The Onion is going after my own heart, and I hate it.

Way to go and tempt my little cheeseburger free black heart with your vicious and delicious propaganda on beef, ass-wad.

Must Be The Moon

I have been slowly supplementing my McDonalds addiction with alcohol. That's healthy right? I came up witha mantra to get me through this very difficult time: "What Would David Hasselhoff Do?"

Tax Is Whack

I got a phone call from my dad saying I owe the tax accountant $440.

Which means:

2 less pairs of jeans, or
11 less shirts, or
62 less orders of general tso's chicken, or
80 less rounds of cocktails, or
220 less cups of coffee, or
415 less double cheeseburgers


Thanks for ruining my life.

It's No Cheeseburger, But It'll Do